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Interview: Thavoron Talks Her Musical Journey to Acceptance and Power

Byadmin

Set 13, 2024
Interview: Thavoron Talks Her Musical Journey to Acceptance and Power

 

 

Born to Cambodian immigrants in Everett, Washington, Thavoron navigated a world where representation was often elusive. Yet, amidst this landscape, she discovered a vibrant musical tapestry that inspired her. Seeking refuge in sound, she taught herself to play guitar and bass, drawing from an eclectic mix of artists like Blood Orange, Lana Del Rey, and Bon Iver. Her artistic journey began under the name Sokeang, a blend of her parents’ last names, before she fully embraced her own name, which beautifully translates to “strong/child of power.”

 


Thavoron‘s highly anticipated third album, the self-titled Thavoron, marks a significant milestone in her artistic evolution. Following her 2023 album, “Tommy Loves You”, Thavoron coincides with her recent coming out as a trans woman, a pivotal moment that adds profound depth to her music. This transformation allows her to explore themes of identity, self-love, and acceptance with remarkable honesty.

 

The songwriting process began as early as December 2019, culminating in a collection of 13 tracks that she recorded in her Seattle apartment and her parents’ home in Everett. The album showcases her ability to weave together intricate melodies and poignant lyrics, reflecting on her experiences over the past 23 years. Each song serves as a chapter in her life, touching on love, sacrifice, and the complexities of navigating her identity in a world that often imposes rigid definitions.

 

Join us as we delve into Thavoron’s creative journey, the inspirations behind her music, and the transformative experiences that shaped this compelling new album.

 

Your self-titled album is a deeply personal exploration of identity and self-acceptance. You mentioned you started writing some songs for the album as far back as 2019.  Can you tell us about your creative process for this record? How did the songs evolve over time?

My creative process for this record was not forcing myself to have one at all, to be honest. I was stern about pushing myself to write constantly around this time. I feel like to a certain degree it was because I felt like I had something to prove, because I had just been signed a year before writing this record. But also, that ignited a flame in me to challenge myself to not just write songs, but be able to craft an experience and environment within each of them. I’m so interested in creating things with impact. I don’t want to just make music to make music, because that feels like a waste of my energetic capacity. So knowing that was in the back of my head while writing all of these songs, I guess was my main MO for writing this record.

‘High’ was the song that I wrote in 2019. I originally wanted to go in a heavy-rock direction for this song, but when I started performing it live in 2021 my friend Spencer played sax on it and we always went for something dreamy and soothing to accomplish offering the sonic idea of contemplation. I kept trying to put it on all of my records that had come out before the self-titled album, but it just never felt like it fit. So, I kept it in the archives until I felt like it made sense thematically for it to be a part of one of my projects. It also helped immensely being able to try on different forms of the song over the year to fully be confronted with the idea of how I wanted to portray it as an entity. 

‘Eagle’ was a song that I wrote in 2022 just to write, however, it became such an essential part of ‘Thavoron’. After only writing the first verse, I came back into it a little bit further down the line of writing all the other songs, after looking for a song for my friend Teather to feature on. It became such a pivotal and concrete moment in the album, and I feel like it wouldn’t be the way that it is today, without its existence.

I think looping back to my vague creative process, the songs evolved through a sense of viewing things from a larger scale perspective. I wanted to stick true to trying to be as honest as possible when writing all of these songs individually, but in the grand scheme of things they’ve become impactful as a unit, and taken on a life of their own. Not because of the thematic or sonic content, but in the sense that they all feel so painstakingly accurate as a reflection of my emotions and thought processes I’ve been articulating within the last two years. I think I’ve never been more ‘me’ than now.

 

Can you explain what it felt like to come out as a trans woman? Is there anything you’d like to say that might help people better understand how to receive and appreciate this news?

It felt so liberating. I think that’s all I can say. After doing shrooms for one of my best friends Amaya’s birthday, I had such a euphoric moment in the backseat of the car with my two childhood best friends, Aislinn and Suna. We were listening to music we grew up listening to, and new music that inspired this part of my brain to embrace the idea of fun, genuine love, and joy. I cried making eye contact with Suna because I hadn’t felt that happy in so long. The haze of smoke and heat sticking to the car windows, our hair flying in our faces, and the city lights beaming onto our bodies… I felt then, that it was truly ok for me to be who I was. And I hadn’t had that revelation in regards to my trans identity until that moment. I will cherish it for the rest of my life. I don’t feel scared anymore because I think moments like that will outshine the darkness, always.

In regards to helping people understand how to receive and appreciate this news— I don’t know if that is necessarily entirely my responsibility. I think people should receive and appreciate whatever in the ways that feel necessary. I would love to be met with undying support and kindness from people regarding this because it’s really scary to fully say ‘This is who I am and I’m not afraid to show you’. I think anyone in this position should deserve support. But, I think in a perfect world we would all receive that regarding any aspect of our lives, where we’re actively choosing ourselves. I don’t know if we’re there yet, but what I will say is that maintaining strength and composure is what I will continue to do as I learn more about myself and who I am, as I think everyone should. People will continue to fulfill their prophecies, but at the end of the day, you know yourself best and what you need to do, to choose happiness in your own life. I’ve spent the last 23 years of my life living for the convenience, sake, and comfort of other people, and I feel excited to put myself in the forefront.

Did coming out as a trans woman in July influence the overall themes of the album? If so, how?

Coming out specifically influenced the overall themes of the album, but I think my trans experience did, on a subconscious level. (I came out as trans in July 2024, and I wrote this album starting in 2019/September 2022) I’ve known I was trans since I was really little. I always felt slightly off in my life, or like nothing ever clicked, no matter which way I tried to look at it or solve it. I vaguely explored the idea of being trans in high school, but I hadn’t reached a part of my life where I gained enough courage to be proud of who I was, or put in the work to follow the beat of my own drum. So I shoved it down immensely and tried to re-contextualize my experience of identifying as a gay man and challenge the status quo by doing things that were subversive to that identity. But, it felt jarring to want myself and others to appreciate my beauty and my energy, but like it had to be through an unnecessary roadblock (my male identity). I was beautiful twice removed when I just wanted to be… me. Without re-contextualization, or nuance. I just wanted to feel like me, and that I belonged. I’ve never felt more like myself in my entire life until I came out as trans.

There was a song that was on the album that I wrote, that I took off before I came out, called ‘Cool like a woman’. I think because the entire record is a representation of my mind and who I am, a lot of the things that I feel or speak about come from a place of existing within the many crosshatches of cultural intersection I socially reside in. I wouldn’t articulate the things the way that I do had I not been myself, and experienced things in the ways that I did.

Does your Cambodian heritage inform the music and messages in this album?

My Khmer heritage informs the music and messages in the album, but not in a traditional sense, though. I’ve never been to Cambodia. I can understand Khmer, but it’s so hard for me to speak it. I think through the teachings my parents and family have instilled in me from my youth— ideas of resilience, kindness, and hard work are always implemented in everything that I do. But acclimating to American culture from a fresh-born perspective, and having to lead me through the world despite my parent’s lack of understanding or knowledge of specific cultural notions, was always really empowering yet confusing. I truly just felt like I never really belonged anywhere because *I* lacked understanding or knowledge of specific cultural notions on both sides. I honestly miss a lot of American cultural references, like at all, because my parents didn’t expose me to any American art. But there was also the part of me that wanted to hate my culture and where I was from because it had everything to do with the ways that I was different, and I was trying to pinpoint this isolated feeling I’d felt for so long and tried to blame it on who I was. When that never really was the case or the problem. Regardless of this, I’ve always tried to find balance with what I found to resonate with me within art. Everything that I’m inspired by are things that I’ve truly found on my own, or that my brother and sister have shown me. My brother introduced me to hip-hop and rap, and my sister introduced me to R&B and rock/alternative/indie music. Finding the bridge between these two was always so important to me because it reminds me of both of them separately, but in a specific way that inspires me to find new ways to find and breed affirmation in the bridge between my human experience and art/culture. 

I think my post-growing up on the internet, existing as a marginalized person by proxy from me being queer and Khmer in America, definitely informs the messages of the album. Because again, everything is truly so derivative. It’s cool to pinpoint where and why you feel the way you do. I think this goes for anyone of any cultural background— the idea of questioning these norms you’ve been offered growing up, how you feel about them, how you deviate from them, and breaking it down for other people will always be so fascinating to me.

 

And on a similar note, I’ve read that there’s a complex relationship between you and your father and this has shaped a lot of the song “American Urge.” What can you tell us about that relationship to help us better understand this piece?

The inspiration behind ‘American Urge’ was an argument that I got into with my father. Ever since I was little, I’ve always been irritated with my father’s archetype and his idea of success, and how you would have to go to achieve it. He is very inspired by the American dream, as he immigrated here from Cambodia in the ‘80s. My father is very hot-headed, yet strong-willed, but also very unforgiving. My concept of self has always been altered and molded by him. I’ve grown akin to feeling like I’ll never be good enough to reach my father’s standards, for him to be proud of me. But over the last few years, I’ve found myself letting go of this idea. I think it’s empowering to be subversive in this specific way— people are so caught up in their perceptions of success and survival, and how they think things should be in the world. But to apply that direction of thinking towards yourself, in a way where you can find being yourself authentically empowering, and taking pride in your actions, is truly a superpower we can all harness. What I want people to take away from ‘American Urge’ is just to truly never stop fighting for your life. I wanted to touch on the realization that everything in regards to living for other people is all a facade, to keep you from recognizing the power you hold/gain from being yourself. Nothing you ever do will be good enough for the wrong people, so you might as well live your life the way you want to and be unapologetic about it, because it’s your life, and nobody else’s. There is power in choosing your story.

You mentioned wanting to capture “queer liveliness” in “Body.” What does this mean to you, and how do you hope to contribute to a more inclusive and accepting music scene?

Queer liveliness to me means finding a sense of true euphoria within who you are. I think being queer, and growing up not having a community to find solace or hope in, leads to a skewed perspective of what is possible for you, specifically in terms of love. With this, I’ve found that when you truly, deeply, connect with someone after years of not, it becomes almost more intense because it feels harder to find, in a sense. I will continue to do my part by sharing my story in ways that feel honest and authentic to me, always. I think documentation of the way I feel, in the ways *I* perceive them, is one of the most important things to me about contributing to my artistic project. To champion all honest, diverse voices is to gain knowledge about the world around you, and how to invoke that in your own life, to create a larger impact on you and those around you, and to realize we’re truly all alike in a way, regardless of variance.

 

How do you feel about the representation of trans artists in the music industry?

I feel really excited and truly validated by the representation of trans artists within the industry. It inspires me to continue to share my own story because it’s just really so important. I truly do believe in the healing power of music, and just knowing there are SO many trans people out there who are truly pioneers within their respective crafts, inspires me to continue to keep sharing my story. All I’ve ever wanted to do is soothe people with my music, in the ways that so many artists have done for me growing up. I’d like to be the representation I wanted to see when I was younger.

 

Were there any specific challenges or breakthroughs you faced during the songwriting and production process, and what’s your favorite lesson learned from that process?

I think the only specific challenge I faced during the creation of the record, is knowing when to call something done. I think it’s so easy to want to be a perfectionist and fine-tune literally EVERYTHING (in regards to the recording process and the mixing/mastering process) but there’s something so charming about something that feels incomplete, raw, or different from the way you imagined something. I think that’s something that I strive for when creating, while also having it meet a certain threshold of my standards. But even then, I always was ok to veer away from that. I think I learned the art of letting go of this process. I’m excited to implement that into my future work.

What do you have planned for the near future?

What I have planned for the near future, is showing myself grace during this part of my life. I feel so happy and content with the direction in which my life is going, just in terms of the way that I interact with the world. I want to support and foster this part of me as much as I can before I step into the new, which I’m seriously dying to do because I feel so excited to be alive. But in the meantime, I’m going to be spending a lot of time living as the point of reference… <3

CONNECT WITH THAVORON SOCIALS:

WEBSITE / INSTAGRAM / TIKTOK / TWITTER / SPOTIFY

 



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